1. Families are reducing not producing:
In order to reproduce a nation, you have you have 2.1 children per family. The last time I heard America was at 2.3 children per family, mainly due to immigration. Muslims are having children at the rate of 9-19 children per family. They will literally take over the world just by having children.
2. Value of father, mother and child are lost.
How do I know the value of children is lost? Look at the staggering statistics of abortion. 1/3 of college campuses are missing students due to abortion. Many children are being placed in foster homes or put up for adoption.
How do I know the value of women has been lost? Women have been objectified. A woman value is in her ability to produce. Look at how she multiplies everything you give her. If you give her seed, she produces a child. If you give her a house she makes a home if you give her food, she makes a meal, you give her cloth she makes clothes, décor, furniture and much more. As men, we need to ask the question, “What can I give her?” Rather than, “What can she give me (sexually)?”
How do I know the value of men has been lost? Look at the vehement attack on the male authority. A man’s value is in how he protects and provides for the well-being of everyone in his home. Many cartoons and television shows today make fun of the male leadership. God gave the social order to us. Yes, many men have abused this authority but if you have married a man who has your wellbeing at heart sometimes trust or a soft word will give him something to think about.
3. Financial wealth/ Educational progress is more important than Spiritual/Relational/Physical health.
The institution of the family is being delayed because of the priority put on degrees and stable careers.
Today many are trying to start families with college debt (The average college debt being $30,000 -$40,000). Very few adults walk into marriage with a stable trade, debt free and the provision of a home.
4. There is a focus on self rather than the sacrifice and service to the family.
Look at the vanity we have produced today. Life is not about nice homes and cars. We work long hours to afford nice things when all our kids and spouses want is time together. LIFE IS NOT ALL ABOUT YOU (I am writing this calmly but hoping you get the point).
5. Adults are escaping rather than engaging
Put down your phone – give your child your face, your smile and your time. Quit trying to get away and commit to spending one hour with them per day.
6. Spouses are becoming self-sufficient rather than co-dependent.
You may be able to live without sex, but can your spouse? You may be able to live without communicating with another human, but can your spouse? Learn to observe what your spouse needs. Learn each other’s love language, respect each other and for goodness sake be appreciative for even the smallest of actions that are observed.
Written By: Scott Blackmon
I have been a teacher now for twelve and a half years and one of the saddest things to me is children who eat alone. Yet one of the best qualities that I have observed in children is the ones that include others.
My mom was from a family of nine and she is the one that clued me in on this topic. Out of her siblings one graduated twelfth out of a class of three hundred and another was high up in Hartford Financial and there are several other success stories as well. Her younger brother had difficulty learning. It was an unintentional teacher that put Tom in the special education classes - a class that he did not really belong in yet he developed a mindset like those kids because it was the ones he was around.
The biggest lesson that I learned is that as a Christian human being you treat everyone equally. Use your strength to protect the weak not to hurt them and never let a child be alone, even if you think you are better than them.
When I came to college in Florida on my first day it was the hottest day of my life. Walking up the center side walk to the dorm was a boy wearing a three piece brown suit and carrying a brief case. I knew immediately that there were some problems. He was there to impress and dress his best. His name was Raymond. His dad said he had already been preaching and that he really did not need a lot of help with preaching just some fine tuning.
I was new and Raymond was new. Back then I had a decent Chevrolet Camaro and I would ask Raymond if he would like to ride with me. I remember looking over at him while we were driving to the beach were some of the other college students were at and he was the proudest kid in Florida.
On Freshmen Talent night he told “Boudreaux and Thibodeaux” jokes – some Louisiana humor and he literally had people falling out of their seats with is demeanor. We would be in organizational meetings – 30-40 people in a room and we had the door closed. Rather than trying to sneak in the back Raymond knocked on the door. Everyone stopped, turned and looked. There Raymond stood, filling up the doorway, “I’m here!!”
While Raymond was at school he struggled. He struggled academically, socially, getting to classes on time, keeping up with his laundry and even his self-care.
I remember praying one time in my room after Raymond had left, “Lord what is your plan for Raymond?”
Raymond did not come back to school one year. He began working a job near his home. On his way to work one day he fell asleep and drove in front of a semi and died - such a sad ending. The one thing I was happy about was my treatment of Raymond while he was a live. Even though I knew he struggled I never took advantage of his weaknesses.
A book that has had the greatest impact on my life was “A man Called Norman”. It was a bout a preacher who moved next door to a social misfit. The preacher went out of his way befriended him and later Norman got saved.
If you have read this far – guess what Raymond’s last name was?
Norman – Raymond Norman
Written By: Scott Blackmon
1. Tell your kids about sex before someone else does or does something to them.
Open the door to conversation.
It has been our practice to tell our kids in first grade.
I took my oldest son to breakfast and I ask him, “Do you know what the word ‘reproduction’ means? He did – thanks to Wild Kratts.If your kid doesn’t know what the word ‘reproduction’ means it is one of the greatest things God has created.We can make furniture but it does not reproduce?Many things in God’s creation reproduce; people, animals, trees, flowers, etc...
There is nothing difficult, perverted or off color about that.
I also told him some words that he could hear when people reference sex.
I told him if he had any questions he could come talk to me. (open the door)
I told him if anyone touches him in his private area to come talk to me.
I told him that sex is not a public topic it is mainly a private one but it should never be secretive.
2. Teach your kids that sex in Scripture is a positive thing.
There is no Scripture that condemns the act of sex when it is kept within the proper boundary of marriage.Many kids carry guilt because they have an interest in sex.We have made it a taboo topic, something secretive and something that should not be talked about.Unfortunately things that are not talked about, kids will find a way to discover them and it may not be through the means you desire. The desire for intimacy is in each of us and it is powerful glue that is meant to cement couples together emotionally, physically and spiritually.
3. Sexuality shows whether you have a proper view of God.
How do you build a man like Joseph how goes into a foreign country with no accountability and is hit on by the most beautiful and powerful lady in Egypt and still comes out victorious.It was a powerful temptation, it was a prolonged temptation and it was a private temptation (Dr. David Jeremiah) and yet he emerged victorious.
Abraham is known as the man of surrender. One of the main things he surrendered to God was his centeredness through circumcision (Dr. Mike Avery).
Many people think they can have secretive sexual relationships outside the boundaries of marriage but God is always watching and there will always be consequences. Develop that mind set of practicing the presence of God.
4. Christianity’s biggest battle over the last thirty years was Evolution. Our biggest battle over the next thirty years is human sexuality.
Human sexuality is at the vary root of the institution for the family.It is the basis of our identity male and female.Human sexuality is the basis of order in Biblical philosophy.
When you have liberal doctors tell you that is your baby’s gender is a male or female but it will tell you its sexuality preference when they get older – we have a problem.
5. Go to the place where your child is spending their time.
I have been a youth camp president for 15 years and almost yearly I have a conversation with young people concerning their cell phones and online viewings. Parents are handing their kids the very thing that will later kill their reputation, marriage and ultimately their souls. Do not feel that your child has to have everything they ask for.
Check their journals, what’s going on at their friend’s house, what is on their texts, emails, what videos are they watching, Youtube history, etc…
Accountability is not a hand off approach. Proper accountability is when you check and everything is above board. You will save your child from serious mistakes.
6. By not taking the above mentioned steps you are opening the door to curiosity that your child will eventually have a hard time closing on their own.
7. Your child is the most valuable thing you own.
Before you buy a home or car you are evaluated, interviewed and researched.Start interviewing your child’s dates. Keep everything above board. It will make for deeper and stronger relationships.
8. Talk to your kids about the possible consequences of sex outside marriage:
Distrust, disease, children, broken family ties, abortion, dropping out of school early, social shame, raising a child on your own, child support etc..
9. Tell your child what to look for in a spouse:
Girl: Picture a garden with high walls all around it. The lady that is tending to that garden, is she busy about her garden? Allowing the fragrances to waft over the wall in order to catch her passerby’s? Or is she hanging out at the door asking unwanted people to come in? Yet inside the garden there is nothing of value there?
Boy: Is he a man that is concerned about protecting purity or pursuing it? Is he someone who can provide? Is he someone who is honest? What is his history? Who are his friends? How does he handle money?
10. Teach them the difference between feelings and values.
Written By: Scott Blackmon
Life of Jacob - Gen 29
1. WILLING TO BE REAL AND SHOW EMOTION – We are creating men today who hide behind a
façade. A façade that portrays that they are distant from emotion. They are not real, they are
calculating. They want you to believe that they have it all together. I love verse 11, "And Jacob
kissed Rachel, and lifted up his voice, and wept."
2. WILLING TO HELP OTHERS – In the initial meeting between Jacob and Rachel there is a problem
with a stone covering a well. Jacob was willing to help by rolling the stone away. The will to
help others is not something that is learned naturally. People have to be taught in many cases
to think of someone other than themselves. Watch to see if the person you are interested in
has a willingness to help others and not just his self.
3. WILLING TO HAVE A DISCUSSION WITH HIS FUTURE FATHER-IN-LAW – A lot of the relationships I
see today start behind the backs of the parents. It is already in our conversation with our kids
that before you date someone both parents have to be in agreement or in the loop. Find a man
that is willing to look your dad in the face and discuss his future plans for you.
4. WILLING TO WAIT (FOR SEVEN YEARS) – Women I work with men every day in the public arena.
Their discussions can be like such, “Look at the picture of this girl that I tagged last night.” (So far
because of the way I live they have never showed me the pictures – thank God.) A man that is
pushy sexually is only looking out for himself. Find a man that is willing to wait for everyone to
be on board. Do not buy into the elope mentality – wait till parents and family members are in
5. WILLING TO WORK (FOR SEVEN YEARS) – Every employer that I talk to has been complaining
more and more about the worker mentality. Look for a man that is willing to work. Work is a
mental and physical development. Physically people start work every day that are stronger than
me but mentally they have never learned the monotonous grind of work.
It would not be a bad idea for the father to say to the son. When you have $5,000 saved then
you may marry my daughter. People walk into relationships every day that have not put any
effort into future planning. If you have to have background checks and credit checks to buy a
house and car then why not a future son-in-law. People put more work into screening renters
that we put into future spouses.
6. WILLING TO FACE SET BACKS – Laban tricked Jacob by giving him Leah rather than Rachel. Most
people I know would have walked out the door at that moment. Yet, Jacob continued to pursue
and he put in an impressive seven more years.
Jesus grew in wisdom, stature, and favor with God and man. These are the four tires of
adolescence. Look at what happens when you over inflate or under inflate one of these tires.
FOUR TIRES OF ADOLESCENCES
The goal to all parenting is to raise a well-balanced child while celebrating their uniqueness.
Observe the kingdoms in the world today that honor each one of these specific tires.
WISDOM – COLLEGE
STATURE – SPORTS
FAVOR WITH GOD – CHURCH
FAVOR WITH MAN – HOLLYWOOD
Are you a balanced individual?
Where are you strong at?
Where do you need to improve?
Your kids have never seen you:
1. Surrender your will.
Even Christ had to pray, "Not my will but Thine be done." In one prayer Christ prays that the will of God be
done on earth the same as it is in Heaven. In Gods economy degrees, positions and money do not matter. As
humans it is hard to surrender personal preferences to a higher good but if we do there is great satisfaction.
2. Serve others.
They have seen you serve yourself. One of my students today told me that she overheard her dad say the
reason he divorced her mom was because he wanted a truck (weak and selfish I know).
Learning to serve your spouse, your fellow workers, etc.. is being like Christ. One man said let your servant
towel be bigger than your ego. My greatest moments have been seeing my father and father-in-law do the
dishes after big meals around the house.
3. Sacrifice for higher good.
Right now I could walk into a job that pays $60,000 to $135,000. I work at a logistics company part time and
they are begging me to do so. Unfortunately for them I have already found my calling.
Surveys from Harvard and Yale tell us that even after a prestigious degree, a nice home, family and salary
many are still looking for meaning in life.
I have heard of many who have given up great jobs or status for a calling in ministry and they have found great
4. Say you are sorry.
As parents there are so many things that are thrown at us. Your kids need to see you say, "I am sorry" - either
to them, your spouse or someone they may offend in public or at church. The road of humility and forgiveness
is so tough yet so attractive to people.
5. Study Scripture.
Our kids need to see us live, study and exemplify Scripture. We should search for the mind of Christ, the Will
of God and the power of the Holy Spirit. Everything we do should please the Trinity.
6. Seek God and expect an answer to prayer.
One of the greatest things you can do is tell your children that there is a need that is beyond your means and
that you are expecting God to answer. When He does (and He will) bring your kids back to the place and tell
them - this is how God delights in answering the prayers of His children.
7. Strive to follow the principles of Scripture.
The way you do anything is the way you do everything. If you are dishonest or honest, if you are worker or
lazy, if you have faith or fear, etc..
8. Be satisfied in life.
Ownership does not equal happiness. You have to reach a place of contentment in your relationship with
Christ. As a sinner I strived to obtain. As a Christian we can rest knowing that the Good Shepherd will lead us
beside still waters because He knows how fearful we are.
9. Suffer well.
Everyone goes through hard times. The question is how do we handle it?
10. They see where you spend your time.
What is important to you? That is where you will spend your time. That is your god or is it your God?
11. Speak about what you believe.
If you actually believe something it will come out of your mouth.
Your kids are watching how you live your life.
As parents you are the greatest influence on your kids.
1. ATTITUDE/DISRESPECT/OBEDIENCE- I have been a middle/high school teacher for 13 years and parents tell me how their child’s attitude changes. The disrespect level goes up and obedience and listening goes down when a child is allowed unlimited access.
2. DEPRESSION – It is my belief that kids are more likely to become depressed for the following reasons.
a. They are not working with their hands. They see cool things via media but they are not told how to do it.
b. They are comparing their lives with others.
d. Not able to really connect with people. We are connected through disconnected means.
3. ONLINE BULLYING – It is my wife and I’s deepest concern that we protect our children socially, emotionally, spiritually and physically. One person’s carelessness online could damage my child’s perception of them self for life.
4. COMMUNICATION – Psychologist say that the role of male and females are switching. Females are now chasing males because they are so involved with gaming that they do not know how to communicate with girls and they have a huge fear of rejection.
5. ESCAPE MENTALITY – When I allow my kids to be on their phones or unlimited video, I am teaching them to escape rather than engage.
6. PORNOGRAPHY- I have been a youth camp president for fifteen years and every year I talk to a kid who struggles with pornography. It is normally from a phone that has been given to them by their parents or a computer in their own home.
7. SEXTING – You have no control over your child’s impulses. You have no clue what your child is feeling and when they are feeling it. A close friend connection can quickly escalate. From a teacher stand point Title 9 situations in middle school are not fun to deal with.
8. FOLLOW THE CROWD – We do not cultivate a follow the crowd mentality in our home. We cultivate a “Follow Jesus” mentality. I do not do things because other parents are doing them. In eternity I am not going to answer to other parents for my actions. I have to answer to Christ. Gods economy and man’s economy is very, very different.
9. PROLONGING ADOLESCENCE – When a child is continually escaping they are not learning how to be a good adult. They are not learning a skill or trade.
10. TIME MANAGEMENT – Hmmm- do I need to even explain? Slothfulness is killing us. Our kids will one day look back and say I could have been a better adult but I wasted so much time. Everything in our life is limited – electricity, food, money – so why should children have unlimited times?
Written By: Scott Blackmon