Life of Jacob - Gen 29
1. WILLING TO BE REAL AND SHOW EMOTION – We are creating men today who hide behind a
façade. A façade that portrays that they are distant from emotion. They are not real, they are
calculating. They want you to believe that they have it all together. I love verse 11, "And Jacob
kissed Rachel, and lifted up his voice, and wept."
2. WILLING TO HELP OTHERS – In the initial meeting between Jacob and Rachel there is a problem
with a stone covering a well. Jacob was willing to help by rolling the stone away. The will to
help others is not something that is learned naturally. People have to be taught in many cases
to think of someone other than themselves. Watch to see if the person you are interested in
has a willingness to help others and not just his self.
3. WILLING TO HAVE A DISCUSSION WITH HIS FUTURE FATHER-IN-LAW – A lot of the relationships I
see today start behind the backs of the parents. It is already in our conversation with our kids
that before you date someone both parents have to be in agreement or in the loop. Find a man
that is willing to look your dad in the face and discuss his future plans for you.
4. WILLING TO WAIT (FOR SEVEN YEARS) – Women I work with men every day in the public arena.
Their discussions can be like such, “Look at the picture of this girl that I tagged last night.” (So far
because of the way I live they have never showed me the pictures – thank God.) A man that is
pushy sexually is only looking out for himself. Find a man that is willing to wait for everyone to
be on board. Do not buy into the elope mentality – wait till parents and family members are in
5. WILLING TO WORK (FOR SEVEN YEARS) – Every employer that I talk to has been complaining
more and more about the worker mentality. Look for a man that is willing to work. Work is a
mental and physical development. Physically people start work every day that are stronger than
me but mentally they have never learned the monotonous grind of work.
It would not be a bad idea for the father to say to the son. When you have $5,000 saved then
you may marry my daughter. People walk into relationships every day that have not put any
effort into future planning. If you have to have background checks and credit checks to buy a
house and car then why not a future son-in-law. People put more work into screening renters
that we put into future spouses.
6. WILLING TO FACE SET BACKS – Laban tricked Jacob by giving him Leah rather than Rachel. Most
people I know would have walked out the door at that moment. Yet, Jacob continued to pursue
and he put in an impressive seven more years.
Jesus grew in wisdom, stature, and favor with God and man. These are the four tires of
adolescence. Look at what happens when you over inflate or under inflate one of these tires.
FOUR TIRES OF ADOLESCENCES
The goal to all parenting is to raise a well-balanced child while celebrating their uniqueness.
Observe the kingdoms in the world today that honor each one of these specific tires.
WISDOM – COLLEGE
STATURE – SPORTS
FAVOR WITH GOD – CHURCH
FAVOR WITH MAN – HOLLYWOOD
Are you a balanced individual?
Where are you strong at?
Where do you need to improve?
Your kids have never seen you:
1. Surrender your will.
Even Christ had to pray, "Not my will but Thine be done." In one prayer Christ prays that the will of God be
done on earth the same as it is in Heaven. In Gods economy degrees, positions and money do not matter. As
humans it is hard to surrender personal preferences to a higher good but if we do there is great satisfaction.
2. Serve others.
They have seen you serve yourself. One of my students today told me that she overheard her dad say the
reason he divorced her mom was because he wanted a truck (weak and selfish I know).
Learning to serve your spouse, your fellow workers, etc.. is being like Christ. One man said let your servant
towel be bigger than your ego. My greatest moments have been seeing my father and father-in-law do the
dishes after big meals around the house.
3. Sacrifice for higher good.
Right now I could walk into a job that pays $60,000 to $135,000. I work at a logistics company part time and
they are begging me to do so. Unfortunately for them I have already found my calling.
Surveys from Harvard and Yale tell us that even after a prestigious degree, a nice home, family and salary
many are still looking for meaning in life.
I have heard of many who have given up great jobs or status for a calling in ministry and they have found great
4. Say you are sorry.
As parents there are so many things that are thrown at us. Your kids need to see you say, "I am sorry" - either
to them, your spouse or someone they may offend in public or at church. The road of humility and forgiveness
is so tough yet so attractive to people.
5. Study Scripture.
Our kids need to see us live, study and exemplify Scripture. We should search for the mind of Christ, the Will
of God and the power of the Holy Spirit. Everything we do should please the Trinity.
6. Seek God and expect an answer to prayer.
One of the greatest things you can do is tell your children that there is a need that is beyond your means and
that you are expecting God to answer. When He does (and He will) bring your kids back to the place and tell
them - this is how God delights in answering the prayers of His children.
7. Strive to follow the principles of Scripture.
The way you do anything is the way you do everything. If you are dishonest or honest, if you are worker or
lazy, if you have faith or fear, etc..
8. Be satisfied in life.
Ownership does not equal happiness. You have to reach a place of contentment in your relationship with
Christ. As a sinner I strived to obtain. As a Christian we can rest knowing that the Good Shepherd will lead us
beside still waters because He knows how fearful we are.
9. Suffer well.
Everyone goes through hard times. The question is how do we handle it?
10. They see where you spend your time.
What is important to you? That is where you will spend your time. That is your god or is it your God?
11. Speak about what you believe.
If you actually believe something it will come out of your mouth.
Your kids are watching how you live your life.
As parents you are the greatest influence on your kids.
1. ATTITUDE/DISRESPECT/OBEDIENCE- I have been a middle/high school teacher for 13 years and parents tell me how their child’s attitude changes. The disrespect level goes up and obedience and listening goes down when a child is allowed unlimited access.
2. DEPRESSION – It is my belief that kids are more likely to become depressed for the following reasons.
a. They are not working with their hands. They see cool things via media but they are not told how to do it.
b. They are comparing their lives with others.
d. Not able to really connect with people. We are connected through disconnected means.
3. ONLINE BULLYING – It is my wife and I’s deepest concern that we protect our children socially, emotionally, spiritually and physically. One person’s carelessness online could damage my child’s perception of them self for life.
4. COMMUNICATION – Psychologist say that the role of male and females are switching. Females are now chasing males because they are so involved with gaming that they do not know how to communicate with girls and they have a huge fear of rejection.
5. ESCAPE MENTALITY – When I allow my kids to be on their phones or unlimited video, I am teaching them to escape rather than engage.
6. PORNOGRAPHY- I have been a youth camp president for fifteen years and every year I talk to a kid who struggles with pornography. It is normally from a phone that has been given to them by their parents or a computer in their own home.
7. SEXTING – You have no control over your child’s impulses. You have no clue what your child is feeling and when they are feeling it. A close friend connection can quickly escalate. From a teacher stand point Title 9 situations in middle school are not fun to deal with.
8. FOLLOW THE CROWD – We do not cultivate a follow the crowd mentality in our home. We cultivate a “Follow Jesus” mentality. I do not do things because other parents are doing them. In eternity I am not going to answer to other parents for my actions. I have to answer to Christ. Gods economy and man’s economy is very, very different.
9. PROLONGING ADOLESCENCE – When a child is continually escaping they are not learning how to be a good adult. They are not learning a skill or trade.
10. TIME MANAGEMENT – Hmmm- do I need to even explain? Slothfulness is killing us. Our kids will one day look back and say I could have been a better adult but I wasted so much time. Everything in our life is limited – electricity, food, money – so why should children have unlimited times?
Written By: Scott Blackmon